The Secret of Stuart Smalley

So I got my Mastercard bill today (insert author panting heavily and not from writing a sex scene) and it makes me wonder about the new age belief of sending positive energy out into the universe in order to get back what you truly want and need since currently it seems farther away than ever before.

As I see it, the main ones are: The Secret, The Laws of Attraction and scouring your friend’s sofas for extra change, which all seem like good ideas at the time until one day you realize that for the past 5 years your friends are on to you and hide their wallets before you come over and all the positive energy you send out into the universe is merely a deranged form of Stuart Smalley-isms.

“I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And gosh-darnit, people like me.”

Only in my case it’s: “I’m a great writer. I have a great story. And doggone it, I’m going to sell this book!”

You smile at yourself broadly, set your Mastercard bill on fire and go out to greet the day.

30 days pass, the next bill comes, and you’re standing in front of the mirror again but the words have changed slightly. “I’m a good writer. I have a good story. And doggone it, one day Oprah will call and she will pay my Mastercard bill for me!”

You smile, albeit more sarcastically, as you leave the house but you muddle through the weeks until just like a recurring bad dream, your Mastercard bill comes back again.

“I’m a poor writer. I’m a poor person. And doggone it, I might have to set some of my books on fire to keep warm this winter.”

Okay, so it’s not that bad.

It’s not even close to that bad.

But like every indie author, I could see it turning for the worse should I choose to give in to momentary waves of decreased self confidence or an overall disbelief in myself and in my work.

I’m not sure what I think about The Secret or The Laws of Attraction, but I do know I wouldn’t change my equally poor friends for anything right now because throughout this journey their friendship has meant more to me than what is currently in my bank account.

And that’s why at the end of the day, I take a few minutes to stand like Stuart at the mirror, assess where I am and where I am going and do whatever it takes to avoid opening the mail for another 30 days.


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